never thought

di ko akalain for real na it'll be this hard. akala ko noon steady lang i can manage things bla bla. idk tapos all of a sudden bigla na lng akong mag.bbreakdown. kasi di ko naman pala talaga kaya. ung tipong pari sarili mo niloloko mo na you can do this, you can take that & shiits. but hindi eee. i guess im strong enuff to face this responsibility alone. well not alone as in alone. kasi anjan sila mama & lola and the rest of the family to help me. but yeaaa. i guess hindi pdin sapat.

pero idk. i don't wanna give that person a burden anymore. i just want him to have the time of his life right now. i dont wanna spoil the set-up. it hurts me to see how happy he is with them/her. pero somehow the hurt taught me to be numb. ung tipong pag anjan na ung issue na finoforward skin ng mga friends ko e. di nko naiyak unlike before. di nko nagmumukmok. kasi immune nko siguro. idk. i hate him like hell. pero sa kabila ng lahat lahat ng pinagsasbi nya mga kakupalan feeling ko kaya ko pa syang mapatawad. kung totoo sya. pero siguro that'll never happen anymore.

natawa ko sa sinabi ni jet nung nag yyYM kami. na she knows magiging ok din kami kasi ganun din sitwasyon nya dati. i was like. i hope so. pero ang labo.

but who knows diba? pero ewan. dito ko nasablay sa mga pero pero ko.

imma live my life nlng according to whats right. maybe this time i should listen sa mga magulang ko and friends to prevent this kinda situation for the 2nd time around.